Tag Archives: Love

Goodbye 2014…

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As the end of a full calendar year is closing and the eve of the beginning of 2015, it is almost tradition to take a moment to reflect on many life changes that we all have gone through and those people and situations in our lives that brought negativity or positivity.

What I have learnt in 2014:

Not every person who smiles at you, means you well.

Even those you love, for the sake of love, you need to distance yourself from or cut communication ties with.

Not every closed door, is a terrible thing.

You are who you are. Be thankful for that and be the best you can be.

Stand up for yourself, especially when you stand alone.

Accept the people who left you, accept the closed doors, accept the “no”.

Make your own choices.

Don’t wait for anyone to value you. Value yourself and walk tall.

Just because others treat you ill, lie to you, cheat on you, use you, don’t allow their hate to spoil the good that 8th In you.

Be strong and corageous.

Do what is right when you are scared and when no one is looking.

Love yourself, always.

Be grateful for today, for each moment. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

While tradition warrants any kind of reflection, each day is really a beauty in and of itself. Regardless of what we go through I believe that God is a very Good God. That In Christ of Nazareth we are free.

In 2015 we can use the experiences and tools we have gained to overcome many things, and we will do so with gumption and grace.

To all those who were in my life at some point, but now are not, I will always love you in the purest sense that I know how to. May you also strive to be the best you can be, not to impress anyone but to be better than you were yesterday.

I leave everyone else with this wish:-

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True Beauty Is..

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Today I looked at myself in a photo, with others, and for once I saw the raw beauty.

There was beauty in the mouth, than curled upwards at the sides forming a big grin.

There was beauty in the eyes, that creased at the corners feeling the laugh bubbling inside.

There was beauty in my posture, that showed comfort and relaxation.

For once I didn’t have to think about what was not perfect about my physical appearance. I saw the raw joy being displayed on my face and in my posture.

There was freedom to be beautiful, to be happy to be me.

Beauty of Survival

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It has nothing to do with revenge
You feel the anger
You feel the fear
You feel the hurt
You feel the disappointment

There is a choice

In your soul you debate the pathway
You can go the route of hate
You can go the route of anger
You can go the route of pain

There is a choice

Be true to what you feel and give yourself to feeling the emotions.

The real you will always show in the end. Despite being honest about what you feel, you can still decide to return to kindness, truth and love.

You have that choice.

You own your choices, regardless of what is done to you. Regardless of your own wrong choices that led you down the wrong paths, you have a choice in what you become after.

I choose to live free of that anger, hate, pain and disappointment. When those emotions go I choose not to be defined by them but to walk on in truth, kind essential and love.

I have a choice and so do you.

The Power to Forgive

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Yesterday I wrote about “what if”, and part of that was honestly seeking forgiveness for things done against another.

Today I did just that. I sought forgiveness from her, for my mishandling of the situation. I spoke of nothing other. She also offered her apologies.

This afternoon he was angry. Didn’t want to see my heart. He said I needed to pay the consequences of my not obeying him in speaking with her. His consequences was that he was going to block me out of his life for good.

I cried. I cried because how could someone be so cold hearted to spite all of the “good” and block me out for my seeking forgiveness for my wrong doing against the third party? I cried because how could she have taken my apology and twisted it? I cried because Dear God I could not understand that when I have tried to do “good” and seek forgiveness for something that was bothering me for so long, this was the backlash that I received.

I sought forgiveness and she apologized, and my conscience is clear. My asking forgiveness was all I wanted to say and I said it. My heart is clear.

He will not see my heart, and I have fought for him to see my good but he won’t.

In partial response to yesterday’s post on “what if’, sometimes the backlash that you get when you honestly try to be good and do good is not favorable.  Sometimes it means that people you love will choose to walk out of your life. But I accept his position today, and will allow him to walk away and keep going.

His actions show that he isn’t the one for me, and you know what? Even though it hurts so much, even though I will cry at times – it will be OK.

It will be OK because when the right man comes along and sees my heart, he will know how to love it. He will not allow anything or anyone to break it.

Today, my heart and conscience is clear.

Tomorrow I stand up for myself. I believe in the impossible-possibilities.

What If?

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What if one day I finally have ‘enough’ and stand up for myself? Stand up for wanting true love, and not settling for a small portion that someone is reluctantly giving me?

What if one day I have enough strength and self-love to peacefully walk away, knowing that I have given this all that I have. That I can’t give any more, but P will never feel about me the way that I hoped he would?

What if one day I really am “ok” to walk away from P, and knowing that he will (whether out of spite or just his nature) run back to his ex or other women?

What if one day I am not afraid of P’s, or anyone’s, rejection of me?

What if one day I can be free to be me and meet someone who will love me the way I should be loved?

What if my true love is right around the corner, and until I receive it I have to let go of P and his ex and every horrible thing that happened in the last 11 months?

What if I truly, spiritually, forgive P, his ex and myself?

What if the possibilities are greater?

What if?

Letter To A Friend

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“How can I ease your pain, if you keep coming back for more pain?” – Unknown

Dear Friend,

Right now you want to cry out of pain you feel because of reality. Reality showed you time and again that someone else has presented an illusion of how they feel about you. He lied to you. He does not care enough about you to respect you. Now that he doesn’t need you, he has moved on to someone else. His pattern continues on with another female.

As much as you want to cry and feel bad about yourself over this, he is and has issues deeper than what he has made known.

You are a very beautiful woman, both inside and out. You are flawed, just as is everyone, but you still are beautiful and I want you to really grasp that. He will never deserve you. But he, too, deserves to be happy. Forgive that. Let that go. He made that decision to play with your heart and emotions.

You were true to him. You are not the problem. Asking yourself “why?” Is irrelevant. Let it go. Let him go. With all that is within you, forgive yourself. Learn and move forward in peace. Believe that you do deserve so much more than what he and all others like him has offered you. Believe that you are worth more than diamonds and pearls can buy.

You want love, and absolutely nothing is wrong with that, but the cost that this guy paid to have you is mere rocks as compared to your value.

Never look down on your worth.

Learn to Love the Fool In You

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“I must learn to love the fool in me, the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.” – Theodore Isaac Rubin

This quote especially touched me this past weekend.  What I grasped was that we need to love ourselves,  the good and bad.  Also, that we can’t burden others with the task of loving us, for us. 
It seems quite freeing to find happiness and love in oneself, rather than seeking it from outside sources.  Be it clothing, drugs,  various dates with men/women – whatever it is can not produce true and lasting happiness and love. That has to come from inside. 

I can’t give a difinitive guideline as to how to love yourself, but I know it first comes with accepting who you are.  Who you are can be shaped by the experiences had throughout ones lifetime,  and it can also be shaped by ones own values in the face of experiences. 

Loving yourself is also being OK with messing up, falling flat on your face, making a fool of yourself, being the opposite of what society wants (and the list goes on!).  Just being YOU in the face of opposition is in itself very freeing.  After all, you know yourself better than anyone else.

Loving yourself also means picking yourself up when you do fall, dusting the dirt off of your hands and knees and staring again.  It’s being persistent in adversity.  Knowing when to give up and let go.  Yet being gentle to comfort yourself when hurt. 

I absolutely do not believe that loving yourself is selfish. Yes, there are extremes but I am not speaking in those contexts. I believe in taking care of oneself, not necessarily in the fashion or beautification sense but internally, emotionally and mentally.

We all need to take time for us to breathe and be free.

Being Brave

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We all have ups and downs.  It is a part of life.  I’ve been thinking for the last day,  that I can’t regret “P” in my life.  I so very much have grown to love him.  But what it harder is letting him go so he can grow, so I can grow.   That saying comes to mind “of you let a bird go and it comes back, it was yours to begin with”, well I have no expectations except that in time healing and growth will be allowed to take place.

I won’t dwell on what’s lost, but in the bitter sweetness am thankful for many things. 

A friend sent me the below message, and I have to say it is fitting.

“Dear Brave Girl,

Did you know that you have the right to make rules for your life? Did you know that you are the ONLY one who can make soul deep rules about what you want, how you want to feel, who you want to be with, what you want to spend your energy on and in what ways you want to contribute and give back to the world? Do you remember that you are the only one who can decide what YOU will tolerate and put up with?

Sometimes, beautiful friend, things happen in life that make us forget that we get to decide. Sometimes we just put ourselves on autopilot and take whatever comes along, thinking that we have to put up with all sorts of abuse, neglect and yuckiness…whether we are doing it to ourselves or letting others have that kind of influence in our lives.

Make some rules…you are worth the time it will take. You are worth the sacrifices it will take. Decide today what you want your life to look like, and then start living in ways that point only to that plan. It is entirely possible to live the life that your heart yearns to live, friend!! And it is never too late.

You are so very very very loved.
xoxo”

People are imperfect, and it takes a great love to cover the multitude of our sins. Such a great love. 

Choose Your Choice

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“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
Steve Maraboli

Laying here in my bed, I think over the events of the day.  One thing struck at me and that is my ability to choose.  The truth is we all have the power and ability of choice in everyday life.  Choose how we are going to react in a situation.  Choose what we are going to eat or wear.  Choices choices choices.

Sometimes choices can have consequences, both good and bad.  Not every choice will be agreeable to many, but your choice has to be right for you and/or your loved ones. 

Part of this power in choice is actually making it and sticking with what you feel and believe is right.  Those things you cherish and value most in life shouldn’t be stifled. They should be allowed to grow and breathe. 

I should take my own prescription.  The things I value and cherish needs to grow and breathe. 

Dad, A Daughters’ First Love

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Dad, A Daughters’ First Love

My dad is a great and very smart man. I was thinking about him this evening and how they just don’t make men like my dad, anymore. In truth who is is and has become was made by his mom and dad but also from seeing and experiencing things good and bad in his lifetime.

Although he hasn’t been to college or high school, he was intelligent enough to know how to spend his money. He knew he wanted a family of his own and he worked hard to be the provider for us. Not only that, but he knew to save his pennies for future gain and sustainability for himself and our family.

Growing up, we truly had all that we ever needed. We had a roof over our heads, beds to sleep on, clothes to cover out bodies, food in our tummies every day. We really have been fortunate with the family that we have. It really didn’t matter that we weren’t rich and didn’t have “status”. We were a humbled family, with a humble home.

When I think of my dad, I think that they just don’t make men like him anymore.

He had passion for a better life than what he was given. A life where he didn’t have to worry about the necessities, such as, where the next plate of food was coming from or that he wouldn’t have a roof over his head or can’t take a sick sibling to the doctor because there was no money to pay. He had passion and vision for a better life than he was given.

His passion and vision is also what I admire about my daddy. He was focused and determined to get where he needed to go even, and especially, when failure threatened to stop him. When these moments came, he got up and tried harder. Resilient. He knew that the pleasures in life were temporary and didn’t indulge in those, instead he worked hard so we can have a chance at a better life.

When I think of my daddy, I don’t think of what he didn’t have but I think of what he did with what he had, and I see that he is a very successful man!

Will they ever make men like my Dad? I suppose it’s a mixture of teachings in the home, but also I think a lot of it is within the person. To learn from mistakes, to refocus and carry on.

There’s a lot of things that I have learned from my dad over the years, and a lot of things I can share. But tonight I just want to express how fortunate I am for a man like my dad in my life ❤️.