“I must learn to love the fool in me, the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.” – Theodore Isaac Rubin
This quote especially touched me this past weekend. What I grasped was that we need to love ourselves, the good and bad. Also, that we can’t burden others with the task of loving us, for us.
It seems quite freeing to find happiness and love in oneself, rather than seeking it from outside sources. Be it clothing, drugs, various dates with men/women – whatever it is can not produce true and lasting happiness and love. That has to come from inside.
I can’t give a difinitive guideline as to how to love yourself, but I know it first comes with accepting who you are. Who you are can be shaped by the experiences had throughout ones lifetime, and it can also be shaped by ones own values in the face of experiences.
Loving yourself is also being OK with messing up, falling flat on your face, making a fool of yourself, being the opposite of what society wants (and the list goes on!). Just being YOU in the face of opposition is in itself very freeing. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else.
Loving yourself also means picking yourself up when you do fall, dusting the dirt off of your hands and knees and staring again. It’s being persistent in adversity. Knowing when to give up and let go. Yet being gentle to comfort yourself when hurt.
I absolutely do not believe that loving yourself is selfish. Yes, there are extremes but I am not speaking in those contexts. I believe in taking care of oneself, not necessarily in the fashion or beautification sense but internally, emotionally and mentally.
We all need to take time for us to breathe and be free.