Today was an odd day. Odd because usually my life had much drama. But today and yesterday was very quiet, no true worries or anxiety attacks, no heartaches or fears – just a stillness.
In this stillness I never really knew how to handle it. Do I revert to being surtounded by drama that I had become accustomed to? My flesh almost yearned for that for lack of knowledge. But I decided to ride the stillness through.
Today was day 2 of the stillness and I have to say that in this time there is still no feeling of dread or anxiety. Just a very calm, kind of knowing or trusting that the change is good.
The effects of dramatic situations do take a toll on you. You contend with your own emotions and thoughts as well as the other party (ies) involved. All this causing stress to your own person and others. So being in the midst of calm stillness is a very good thing.
Damn it! Another one!! This I say to myself as I can feel the tension rising up the back of my neck. Why is it that I still seem to not be able to control my emotions? The little things is what gets me. For the next hour, or two, or three, or four I gripe and moan about whatever got into my craw not realizing that I have allowed time to slip away from me, on the account of the small insignificant things – making mountains out of molehills or creating something from thin air.
This is generally true of how I would react to negativity or allow things to bother me. But you know? Recently I have been yearning to just let go of my “uptightness” and just, relax. I have been feeling, restrained and as each day passes I have this kind of desire to let go and relax. Not be hard on myself or others. Not take everything so…final.
Stress to myself or to others is never a positive thing, and in fact takes away from what happiness is there.
I agree that there are many things in life that truly are, well, serious but for a lot of the other stuff it really isn’t. It’s just stuff – things that happen or choices made that affects lives.
For those other stuff, well, the truth is that I don’t need to know everything, neither do I need to control everything. What I do need is to relax and be happy, to be “me” and remember that not everything is so serious.