Category Archives: Love

Letter To A Friend

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“How can I ease your pain, if you keep coming back for more pain?” – Unknown

Dear Friend,

Right now you want to cry out of pain you feel because of reality. Reality showed you time and again that someone else has presented an illusion of how they feel about you. He lied to you. He does not care enough about you to respect you. Now that he doesn’t need you, he has moved on to someone else. His pattern continues on with another female.

As much as you want to cry and feel bad about yourself over this, he is and has issues deeper than what he has made known.

You are a very beautiful woman, both inside and out. You are flawed, just as is everyone, but you still are beautiful and I want you to really grasp that. He will never deserve you. But he, too, deserves to be happy. Forgive that. Let that go. He made that decision to play with your heart and emotions.

You were true to him. You are not the problem. Asking yourself “why?” Is irrelevant. Let it go. Let him go. With all that is within you, forgive yourself. Learn and move forward in peace. Believe that you do deserve so much more than what he and all others like him has offered you. Believe that you are worth more than diamonds and pearls can buy.

You want love, and absolutely nothing is wrong with that, but the cost that this guy paid to have you is mere rocks as compared to your value.

Never look down on your worth.

Learn to Love the Fool In You

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“I must learn to love the fool in me, the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.” – Theodore Isaac Rubin

This quote especially touched me this past weekend.  What I grasped was that we need to love ourselves,  the good and bad.  Also, that we can’t burden others with the task of loving us, for us. 
It seems quite freeing to find happiness and love in oneself, rather than seeking it from outside sources.  Be it clothing, drugs,  various dates with men/women – whatever it is can not produce true and lasting happiness and love. That has to come from inside. 

I can’t give a difinitive guideline as to how to love yourself, but I know it first comes with accepting who you are.  Who you are can be shaped by the experiences had throughout ones lifetime,  and it can also be shaped by ones own values in the face of experiences. 

Loving yourself is also being OK with messing up, falling flat on your face, making a fool of yourself, being the opposite of what society wants (and the list goes on!).  Just being YOU in the face of opposition is in itself very freeing.  After all, you know yourself better than anyone else.

Loving yourself also means picking yourself up when you do fall, dusting the dirt off of your hands and knees and staring again.  It’s being persistent in adversity.  Knowing when to give up and let go.  Yet being gentle to comfort yourself when hurt. 

I absolutely do not believe that loving yourself is selfish. Yes, there are extremes but I am not speaking in those contexts. I believe in taking care of oneself, not necessarily in the fashion or beautification sense but internally, emotionally and mentally.

We all need to take time for us to breathe and be free.

A Love Through Imperfections

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There is a song by John Legend called “All of Me”, quite a beautiful song if you’ve ever heard it sung. The song is about one giving themselves fully to another and the one loving all of the others’ imperfections, all of the rough edges.

Whenever I hear this song my emotions would get aroused and I would feel desiring of that kind of love from someone else – to love all of me, all of my imperfections. That kind of promise – to love someone’s imperfections – is easy to sing about and easier to say.

Well, today while in my drive home from work I heard this song on the radio. When the song reached the stanza on loving the imperfections, I began to make a comparison to the real-life imperfections that we all have. I thought, can someone really love all of another’s’ imperfections? If they were to know and see the personality/characteristic issues, the fears, the irrational thoughts, the ADD, the emotional roller coaster, can one love that or is John Legend brushing the reality under the carpet just to sell a good song that people can be emotionally motivated by?

My own opinions, right now, is that you first choose to love the person and not the things they do. Second, I get the feeling that the “imperfections” are those things someone really can’t help, like height or skin colour or certain fears or childhood issues etc. To me love itself is pure and should always be pure and there are some things that if one can help they change within themselves, because of love.

Well, I think it is possible.

When you really consider the implications of this song, you have to conclude that this kind of love is not a surface kind to be easily said or sung – it is quite deep.

Here is John Legends song “All of Me” ;