Category Archives: Journey

Goodbye 2014…


As the end of a full calendar year is closing and the eve of the beginning of 2015, it is almost tradition to take a moment to reflect on many life changes that we all have gone through and those people and situations in our lives that brought negativity or positivity.

What I have learnt in 2014:

Not every person who smiles at you, means you well.

Even those you love, for the sake of love, you need to distance yourself from or cut communication ties with.

Not every closed door, is a terrible thing.

You are who you are. Be thankful for that and be the best you can be.

Stand up for yourself, especially when you stand alone.

Accept the people who left you, accept the closed doors, accept the “no”.

Make your own choices.

Don’t wait for anyone to value you. Value yourself and walk tall.

Just because others treat you ill, lie to you, cheat on you, use you, don’t allow their hate to spoil the good that 8th In you.

Be strong and corageous.

Do what is right when you are scared and when no one is looking.

Love yourself, always.

Be grateful for today, for each moment. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

While tradition warrants any kind of reflection, each day is really a beauty in and of itself. Regardless of what we go through I believe that God is a very Good God. That In Christ of Nazareth we are free.

In 2015 we can use the experiences and tools we have gained to overcome many things, and we will do so with gumption and grace.

To all those who were in my life at some point, but now are not, I will always love you in the purest sense that I know how to. May you also strive to be the best you can be, not to impress anyone but to be better than you were yesterday.

I leave everyone else with this wish:-



Being Brave


We all have ups and downs.  It is a part of life.  I’ve been thinking for the last day,  that I can’t regret “P” in my life.  I so very much have grown to love him.  But what it harder is letting him go so he can grow, so I can grow.   That saying comes to mind “of you let a bird go and it comes back, it was yours to begin with”, well I have no expectations except that in time healing and growth will be allowed to take place.

I won’t dwell on what’s lost, but in the bitter sweetness am thankful for many things. 

A friend sent me the below message, and I have to say it is fitting.

“Dear Brave Girl,

Did you know that you have the right to make rules for your life? Did you know that you are the ONLY one who can make soul deep rules about what you want, how you want to feel, who you want to be with, what you want to spend your energy on and in what ways you want to contribute and give back to the world? Do you remember that you are the only one who can decide what YOU will tolerate and put up with?

Sometimes, beautiful friend, things happen in life that make us forget that we get to decide. Sometimes we just put ourselves on autopilot and take whatever comes along, thinking that we have to put up with all sorts of abuse, neglect and yuckiness…whether we are doing it to ourselves or letting others have that kind of influence in our lives.

Make some rules…you are worth the time it will take. You are worth the sacrifices it will take. Decide today what you want your life to look like, and then start living in ways that point only to that plan. It is entirely possible to live the life that your heart yearns to live, friend!! And it is never too late.

You are so very very very loved.

People are imperfect, and it takes a great love to cover the multitude of our sins. Such a great love. 

Going Through a Process

Going Through a Process

I am convinced that some people are in our lives for specific reasons, while some are just there as passers by.

Specifically, I am thinking about a great girlfriend of mine that I’ve known for almost 10 years. As a brief background, we met in the same place of employment became friends then we both moved on to different employers. Over the next few years we met up in brief periods, then in late 2012 we found each other again and have been close since.

We met up today after a few weeks of procrastination. We hadn’t planned on making it a full afternoon, but the conversation was just that good. I don’t see her everyday, yet when we do get together it is as if time apart didn’t exist.

Part of todays conversation surrounded the hair care process it took for her to first go “natural” (no straightening with chemicals etc) and second to match the personality of her hair with the products that would agree. For the entire conversation I was intrigued, as I always am, by her energy and passion on loving who she is as a woman and the essence of womanhood.

As we spoke on the natural hair subject, it dawned on me. It’s the process that I found distasteful. I remembered my own process in trying to achieve the natural hair, several years ago, and what came to mind was (1) I couldn’t wait through the process of growing my straight ends out – so I cut all the long straight parts off so the short natural curls would show and (2) when my hair was growing out in natural form, I didn’t know how to maintain proper care for it – so I chemically straightened it. The process. The process.

Generally speaking it is the process that I run from, yet as my friend spoke on the process it took for her hair to reach the stage it is at now she animatedly gleamed in her advice of the importance in going through the process. According to her, she has learned many things in her journey with her hair and she LOVES it all! Well I was just astonished. To me it was almost unheard of to enjoy walking through a process, but as I watched and listened to her speak on it I began to realize that in general terms – the process is necessary for sound growth, knowledge and wisdom. How could one not want that!

What I got from today’s conversations was that in a process, there can be few or many stages. At each stage there is a specific thing to be learned which can then help you in the next stage or simply to learn for that stage only. Specifically the maintenance routine my girlfriend did when her hair was short is completely different to what she does now that it is much longer. As her hair grew, so did she.

Today, I’ve learned to embrace the process.