Monthly Archives: December 2014

Goodbye 2014…

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As the end of a full calendar year is closing and the eve of the beginning of 2015, it is almost tradition to take a moment to reflect on many life changes that we all have gone through and those people and situations in our lives that brought negativity or positivity.

What I have learnt in 2014:

Not every person who smiles at you, means you well.

Even those you love, for the sake of love, you need to distance yourself from or cut communication ties with.

Not every closed door, is a terrible thing.

You are who you are. Be thankful for that and be the best you can be.

Stand up for yourself, especially when you stand alone.

Accept the people who left you, accept the closed doors, accept the “no”.

Make your own choices.

Don’t wait for anyone to value you. Value yourself and walk tall.

Just because others treat you ill, lie to you, cheat on you, use you, don’t allow their hate to spoil the good that 8th In you.

Be strong and corageous.

Do what is right when you are scared and when no one is looking.

Love yourself, always.

Be grateful for today, for each moment. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

While tradition warrants any kind of reflection, each day is really a beauty in and of itself. Regardless of what we go through I believe that God is a very Good God. That In Christ of Nazareth we are free.

In 2015 we can use the experiences and tools we have gained to overcome many things, and we will do so with gumption and grace.

To all those who were in my life at some point, but now are not, I will always love you in the purest sense that I know how to. May you also strive to be the best you can be, not to impress anyone but to be better than you were yesterday.

I leave everyone else with this wish:-

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True Beauty Is..

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Today I looked at myself in a photo, with others, and for once I saw the raw beauty.

There was beauty in the mouth, than curled upwards at the sides forming a big grin.

There was beauty in the eyes, that creased at the corners feeling the laugh bubbling inside.

There was beauty in my posture, that showed comfort and relaxation.

For once I didn’t have to think about what was not perfect about my physical appearance. I saw the raw joy being displayed on my face and in my posture.

There was freedom to be beautiful, to be happy to be me.

Letting Go

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Is hard to do.

You tend to remember only the “good”, when faced with the only choice which is to let go.

The good, is not the whole picture.

Regardless of what your own heart has felt and showed him over time, it is what it is. He will always be in love with her.

He will always be too and fro, like a tumbleweed blowing whichever way the wind pleases.

But the choice, the only choice, to let go has to begin and continue with you.

Be strong, they say. Being strong is much easier said than done. But being strong, knowing that you deserve much more than he is ever willing to give, is the only saviour.

Purpose in your heart to forgive yourself. To forgive him, and her in time. But purpose in your heart to never look back. This isn’t about holding grudges or being rude, it’s about coming through.

Purpose in your heart to not replay his awful words said in anger over the period of the year, or yours to him I’m those last days. Not to believe what he purposed in his heart against you. Who is he? Mere young man. Who are we all? Mere humans.

It also is not about keeping higher walls against him or persons like him. Protecting yourself comes by sound wisdom and judgment, and not the happiness in the emotions and flesh. Walls do protect, but they also act as barriers that you can’t get out.

I am no expert in letting go, I held on for as long as I could hoping and wishing that he would want to love me. But it is what it is and this was never meant to be.

Beauty of Survival

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It has nothing to do with revenge
You feel the anger
You feel the fear
You feel the hurt
You feel the disappointment

There is a choice

In your soul you debate the pathway
You can go the route of hate
You can go the route of anger
You can go the route of pain

There is a choice

Be true to what you feel and give yourself to feeling the emotions.

The real you will always show in the end. Despite being honest about what you feel, you can still decide to return to kindness, truth and love.

You have that choice.

You own your choices, regardless of what is done to you. Regardless of your own wrong choices that led you down the wrong paths, you have a choice in what you become after.

I choose to live free of that anger, hate, pain and disappointment. When those emotions go I choose not to be defined by them but to walk on in truth, kind essential and love.

I have a choice and so do you.