A good friend of mine, K, told me that the best lessons are those you experience. I have to agree with him to a point, while I don’t want to feel emotional pain the experience of certain situations tend to be more lasting.
Specifically in matters of the heart I realize that you can not stay with someone who doesn’t care or want you. Unfortunately a lot of the pain we feel, for those good women and men, from others that we are with are because that significant other is just not the one for you. Accepting that and making the decision to move on in spite of your emotional ties to that significant other is a tough hill to climb, but “cudos” goes to those persons who do make the decision to ‘keep it moving’.
In keeping it moving we often tend to hold anger towards that person in the relationship who we know have done us wrong, and while it is okay to feel the emotions that we do, it is not okay to fester and act on the anger.
Recently what I found that helps are people who are strong support systems. By strong, I mean that they are objective, direct and honest with you but also will be there to comfort you at your lowest point – these are the types of people you should keep in your life. Those who can build you up when you have been torn down.
It takes time, I tell myself. Time to heal and truly forgive the situation, the person and yourself. Don’t be in a rush to forgive, but when you do that would be the final chapter to closing that book and letting go of toxic relationships. Then wait for, find and love someone who knows how to really love you back!
Making that first step to the rest of my life starts with removing persons who are in my life and aren’t right for me, started with letting go. Goodbye P.