Monthly Archives: April 2014

Looking Back to Look Forward

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Looking Back to Look Forward

I briefly flip through the memories of my past, where my choices were to party and to have fun in those moments. If I said I don’t regret things in my past, I would by lying; however, I know enough to know that dwelling on my past and wishing I had made better choices is a dead end.

In my reflection I thought to myself has knowing what I know now made me wiser? I will say, yes, in some things. For instance rolling through life as if a wayward tumbleweed is not really living. Being a tumbleweed is just existing – that is all. Part of life is about finding out who you are and having core values that you won’t bargain for anything, yet living authentically, unashamedly, and unapologetically YOU.

Another example that I have learned is that making a “mistake” or a down right mess of things is not a terrible thing to have happen, because there is an opportunity to learn. There is always opportunities to learn and grow – if we allow ourselves to. In making our own mess we begin to learn more of who we are and who we are shouldn’t be compared to another person, because they also are learning. In the same way one persons mess shouldn’t be compared to another, the truth of the matter is that we are all human. Finite beings.

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Dad, A Daughters’ First Love

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Dad, A Daughters’ First Love

My dad is a great and very smart man. I was thinking about him this evening and how they just don’t make men like my dad, anymore. In truth who is is and has become was made by his mom and dad but also from seeing and experiencing things good and bad in his lifetime.

Although he hasn’t been to college or high school, he was intelligent enough to know how to spend his money. He knew he wanted a family of his own and he worked hard to be the provider for us. Not only that, but he knew to save his pennies for future gain and sustainability for himself and our family.

Growing up, we truly had all that we ever needed. We had a roof over our heads, beds to sleep on, clothes to cover out bodies, food in our tummies every day. We really have been fortunate with the family that we have. It really didn’t matter that we weren’t rich and didn’t have “status”. We were a humbled family, with a humble home.

When I think of my dad, I think that they just don’t make men like him anymore.

He had passion for a better life than what he was given. A life where he didn’t have to worry about the necessities, such as, where the next plate of food was coming from or that he wouldn’t have a roof over his head or can’t take a sick sibling to the doctor because there was no money to pay. He had passion and vision for a better life than he was given.

His passion and vision is also what I admire about my daddy. He was focused and determined to get where he needed to go even, and especially, when failure threatened to stop him. When these moments came, he got up and tried harder. Resilient. He knew that the pleasures in life were temporary and didn’t indulge in those, instead he worked hard so we can have a chance at a better life.

When I think of my daddy, I don’t think of what he didn’t have but I think of what he did with what he had, and I see that he is a very successful man!

Will they ever make men like my Dad? I suppose it’s a mixture of teachings in the home, but also I think a lot of it is within the person. To learn from mistakes, to refocus and carry on.

There’s a lot of things that I have learned from my dad over the years, and a lot of things I can share. But tonight I just want to express how fortunate I am for a man like my dad in my life ❤️.

Sundays Are For Silence

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Sundays Are For Silence

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with words. Other times I have nothing to say. Sunday was an in-between feeling kind of day.

This blog helps me to express myself, to get words out. To journal my experiences and thoughts in things.

As I lay here reflecting, my minds runs across the many inter-related relationships and situations with various people and how it can affect you or your emotions can affect how you interact with them. To be honest sometimes it is good to take a step back from everyone and breathe. For whatever length of time is needed, use it.

Sunday, I think was one of those days where I just needed to be alone. To sit down and just be. I was able to do that, to pick sense from nonsense then just do lazy day things. I do believe that too much time spent on thinking of yourself can have a counter effect rather then help any personal situation. It’s like that phrase of “being too much in your head”. But just being helps you somewhat to see the world as is. Not what you think it should, could, would be. But as is.

It’s good to take some time to yourself and embrace the day.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Threshold

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Threshold

When I think of threshold many things come to mind, but as I look at my collection of photos taken I believe this featured photo best fits this weeks photo challenge.

Back in September 2013 I agreed to be part of a relay team for the annual Marathon held in December. Each of the four team members had to run equal parts if a total of 26 miles. It was the first event ever that I would take part in and to me, it was a huge deal.

Training began in September and for the few weeks leading up to Decembers’ race there were so many experiences, good and bad, that allowed me to grow in so many ways.

This featured picture, of my race packet, was taken the day before the marathon. After putting it together for the photo I can remember sitting down in awe and somewhat disbelief that I was really doing this. I had finally worked long and hard through laughter, injuries and tears for this moment.

Committed and focused, I had pressed forward to the event I had prepared towards.

(Click herefor more information on this weeks challenge.)

Chicken Soup For The Soul

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Chicken Soup For The Soul

Cooking was never really my strong point. In fact up until just a few years ago, I didn’t really know how to cook well. I could, however, put together a fine pot of white rice – this I learned from my early 20’s. But cooking, no I didn’t really know how to.

It started from a former in-law of mine several years ago. They taught me how to stew chicken and make Ackee (ah-kee) and Saltfish and other similar kinds of dishes that required lots of oil. But truly my cooking, my cooking, didn’t ignite until I bought my first place. Then, I was so excited to smell the aroma of fresh stove-top food! But as time went by I stopped making what I had learnt: the usual stewed chicken or ackee doused with oil, and slowly that excitement for cooking dimmed and flickered out.

In the last few months, however, I’ve noticed that my meals have been new dishes that I’ve never tried before. It would start with this quiet burning desire of an idea to make something new, to just try and see what the outcome is. Tonight is a good example of that: I made Chicken soup.

For some reason the effort in preparing soup was what I shied away from. Well tonight as I drove home from work I began to mentally picture the ingredients in my fridge that I was going to use, and how I was going to prepare them for the soup – I felt confident. I knew the soup wouldn’t waste as I already reassured myself it would be lunch for this week.

I was excited.

I prepared the soup parts just as I imagined it would be – chopping the carrots diagonally, dicing onion, green and red peppers, cutting the potatoes in perfect squares and cooking the chicken chunks in the frying pan. I was ready. Like a symphony, everything started perfectly. Everything was going according to plan and nothing was wayward. It didn’t matter if it was anyway, because I was in the frame of mind to just “try a thing and see where it goes”.

When I finally added the last ingredient, pumpkin, I just felt proud of myself. I know it’s “just soup!” but to me it’s more than that. I proved to myself that things aren’t as difficult as I think they are, that effort goes a long way. It also showed me that I need to challenge myself to get out of my own comfort zone. To live.

A fitting title of this experience as it truly was: Chicken Soup For The Soul.

Why So Serious?

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Why So Serious?

Damn it! Another one!! This I say to myself as I can feel the tension rising up the back of my neck. Why is it that I still seem to not be able to control my emotions? The little things is what gets me. For the next hour, or two, or three, or four I gripe and moan about whatever got into my craw not realizing that I have allowed time to slip away from me, on the account of the small insignificant things – making mountains out of molehills or creating something from thin air.

This is generally true of how I would react to negativity or allow things to bother me. But you know? Recently I have been yearning to just let go of my “uptightness” and just, relax. I have been feeling, restrained and as each day passes I have this kind of desire to let go and relax. Not be hard on myself or others. Not take everything so…final.

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Stress to myself or to others is never a positive thing, and in fact takes away from what happiness is there.
I agree that there are many things in life that truly are, well, serious but for a lot of the other stuff it really isn’t. It’s just stuff – things that happen or choices made that affects lives.

For those other stuff, well, the truth is that I don’t need to know everything, neither do I need to control everything. What I do need is to relax and be happy, to be “me” and remember that not everything is so serious.