I am convinced that some people are in our lives for specific reasons, while some are just there as passers by.
Specifically, I am thinking about a great girlfriend of mine that I’ve known for almost 10 years. As a brief background, we met in the same place of employment became friends then we both moved on to different employers. Over the next few years we met up in brief periods, then in late 2012 we found each other again and have been close since.
We met up today after a few weeks of procrastination. We hadn’t planned on making it a full afternoon, but the conversation was just that good. I don’t see her everyday, yet when we do get together it is as if time apart didn’t exist.
Part of todays conversation surrounded the hair care process it took for her to first go “natural” (no straightening with chemicals etc) and second to match the personality of her hair with the products that would agree. For the entire conversation I was intrigued, as I always am, by her energy and passion on loving who she is as a woman and the essence of womanhood.
As we spoke on the natural hair subject, it dawned on me. It’s the process that I found distasteful. I remembered my own process in trying to achieve the natural hair, several years ago, and what came to mind was (1) I couldn’t wait through the process of growing my straight ends out – so I cut all the long straight parts off so the short natural curls would show and (2) when my hair was growing out in natural form, I didn’t know how to maintain proper care for it – so I chemically straightened it. The process. The process.
Generally speaking it is the process that I run from, yet as my friend spoke on the process it took for her hair to reach the stage it is at now she animatedly gleamed in her advice of the importance in going through the process. According to her, she has learned many things in her journey with her hair and she LOVES it all! Well I was just astonished. To me it was almost unheard of to enjoy walking through a process, but as I watched and listened to her speak on it I began to realize that in general terms – the process is necessary for sound growth, knowledge and wisdom. How could one not want that!
What I got from today’s conversations was that in a process, there can be few or many stages. At each stage there is a specific thing to be learned which can then help you in the next stage or simply to learn for that stage only. Specifically the maintenance routine my girlfriend did when her hair was short is completely different to what she does now that it is much longer. As her hair grew, so did she.
Today, I’ve learned to embrace the process.